I have spent my life chasing this mythical version of myself, this person who I seemed to think existed. Not a shocker or anything, but she doesn’t exist.
It wasn’t until after college that I stopped trying to be what everyone wanted me to be. I am exactly who I am and there’s nothing wrong with that.
I am imperfect, and that’s okay.
Well, it’s okay with me. But that’s not the case with the rest of the world all the time. Or so it seems.
Today: a box for my personality and future was described to me. I don’t really think I liked any part of it. The personality in the box wasn’t mine. The future of the box wasn’t the one I was dreaming of. And the box itself was nothing like the world I wanted to live in.
So, now I’m sitting here, asking myself why I should try to fit in the box? Was it the money the box offered? Or the security of having a box at all?
Sure, both are nice. But are they supposed to drive who I am?
Some of you might say yes.
I can’t. I don’t know what the best decision will be, but I do know that I am no longer the girl who can keep chasing not only my mythical version or myself, but someone else’s as well.